Invasion of the Brain Snatcher

Let me tell you about the day an idiot invaded my body and gobbled up what there is of my brain. It was yesterday, actually. A good friend gave my name, along with several other NJ and NY authors, to a TV Producer who's doing a feature on romance writers. Out of all the amazing authors I assumed she had to choose from, I really didn't think she'd contact me. But she did. Via email. She introduced herself, explained their objective, and invited me to call or email her if I was interested. But, of course, I was interested! This was, my friends, an incredible promo opportunity.

I started to email back. I feel more comfortable with email. However, I thought a phone call would be the wiser choice. Not.

I wasn't nervous. I swear I wasn't nervous. I've been a professional performer for bukoo years. I talk over the microphone all the time. To lots of people. This was one person, over the phone. No big whoop. I thought she'd answer and we'd have a short conversation. I can do the conversation thing. I'm quite friendly, honest. But I didn't get her. I got her voice mail. And for some reason that caught me off guard. Suddenly, I felt self-conscious. Or maybe that was the sensation of an idiot worming its way into my body and gobbling up my brain, because the stilted, bumbled words that came out of my mouth couldn't have been coming from me.

I hung up the phone dazed. I'd sounded like an idiot. I didn't even leave my phone number. She's going to hear that message and think, "This person can't even form one coherent sentence. Interviewing her would be like interviewing Homer Simpson. Pass."

So I backed up my idiotic phone message, with a sane email. I haven't heard back from her yet. I'll be pleasantly surprised if I do. Meanwhile, this was a huge lesson learned. I should have thought out what I was going to say, before I dialed that number. I should have taken a second to prepare. Or at least a second or two to look over my shoulders and confirm no Brain Snatchers were in sight. *g*

So make me feel better, folks. When's the last you made an idiot of yourself on the phone?

Comments

Mary Stella said…
Oh my goodness, Beth! I'm willing to bet big money that you did not sound like a goober. You might have been a little nervous, but people often sound that way on voice mail. Don't worry in the least! I hope you get interviewed!
Barb said…
You big goober! Just call back and say that your idiot sister made that phone call and that you are the far more intelligent one. At least you'd make her life but then she might have you committed. However, perhaps our problem is that we rely too much on e-mail now and most of us have forgotten how to talk to people. I'm not saying you. I just seem to run across this alot now. Mostly with the younger generation. I actually feel sorry for them. I think I got off the subject a liitle. Sorry.
Barb said…
I meant to say that you would make her laugh not "make her life"
See, now I'm the idiot.
Tori Lennox said…
Oh, Lordy. I HATE calling people on the phone (except my friends). I'd much prefer using email.
Beth Ciotta said…
Thanks, M. I wish I had your grace and wit when speaking with industry professionals. You're awesome. Must rub up against you next time we see each other. :)
Beth Ciotta said…
Hello, little sister. Yes, I am a big goober. The biggest. What was I thinking? You're right. I should've called back and said, oh, that was my geeky sister, Barb. Only you're not geeky. ;) So nevermind.

Interesting side thought on people not being as slick conversing in person because we're so used to connecting via email these days. Notice in my post I said I feel more comfortable with email. :) But for me I think it's a confidence thing. I can compose what I want to say in an email, reread and delete any goober comments before the reader sees them. Can't do that in person or on the phone. Once the gooberism is out, it's out.

But I digress... *g*
Beth Ciotta said…
Tori, I'm curious. What is it that you don't like about conversing via phone?
Cynthia said…
I hate when that happens. Of course I'm not particularly comfortable cold calling people period. Why you ask? Well, first I never really had the phone practice growing up - I think I might have been on of the few teenage girls who didn't spend hours daily on the phone. The other reason, I sound about 10 on the phone and I can't begin to explain the number of times I've been spoken to accordingly.

I'm just more comfortable with email because I'm more comfortable with the written word. The only problem with email is I've noticed my handwriting isn't nearly as pretty as it once was.
Tori Lennox said…
The fibromyalgia really screws with my brain sometimes and I don't think fast like I used to. With email I can work out what I want to say and edit it before I send it off. Can't do that very well on the phone. :)
Brooks said…
I'm sure there was, at least, one incident on the phone that cost me a gig. But, that was so painful ...I can't remember the specifics.

There is a little known gland in the cranium about the size of a pea, and that's why they call it the goober gland. Most of the time it's dormant. However, at the most inconvienient times it kicks in and tranforms perfectly good adreneline into novocain ...which goes directly to the Brain!
Brooks said…
Scott Adams, creator of the comic strip DILBERT has just partially recovered from "Spasmodic Dysphonia, a mysterious disease in which parts of the brain controlling speech shut down or go haywire".

http://apnews1.iwon.com//article/20061027/D8L142RG0.html
Beth Ciotta said…
Cynthia, I can sympathize in many ways here. I, too, sound like a kid. When I answer the phone, I often get, "Is you mother home?" Which tells me it's someone who does not know me and thus I probably don't want to talk to them. Read: I'm not buying what they're selling. Anyway, I often use my Minnie Mouse voice advantage several times.

Another thing I get, feeling more comfortable with the written word. I'm all over that. :)
Beth Ciotta said…
Hi Tori. Yup. Editing what you want to say. It's a beautiful things. :)


Brooks... a goober gland? You're joshing me, right? Right?! :) BTW I just read the article about "Spasmodic Dysphonia". How awful. I'm overjoyed to say that is not my problem. And my heart goes out to those who suffer from it. Thanks for sharing my always interesting friend.
Brooks said…
Goober Gland? Yeah, just kidding!
Bob said…
Anyone ever felt the opposite: expecting to get the voice mail or answering machine and getting the person instead? All ready to leave a succinct message and the person answers is as bad or worse for me, because I like email, too. Gives me a better chance to form sentences and thoughts--go back and remove the chaff.
Bethany said…
What just last night? Or say last week. I think this is a weekly occurence at work. And hey, I've even documented some of my looniness via e-mail. Bad times. Bad times indeed.

And I believe you. We REALLY are conversation. Most days anyway.

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